Value of Things

I'll just jump right in. I'd like to teach my daughter to value things. And by things I don't just mean inanimate objects, but everything. Including objects, living things, semi-living things.

Why? Just because I do. I believe everything is made of some special substance if you will, or energy, or qi, or some other respectable word that we can attach to the molecules and atoms that our world is made of. I guess I just have respect for the molecules and atoms. I think they're all special creations that allow our world to exist. And I'd like to treat them with respect, and pass this value on.

So, how do we pass this on...

1. Less is more: 

When there is scarcity of something people need, that thing is valued. As it becomes increasingly more abundant, its value diminishes. Sounds a lot like the law of diminishing returns from economics class. I will take the concept even further to say that often the value of many things is less than the value of one or a few.

And yet our world strives for abundance and over-abundance. Most above poverty level households are over-run by things. Internet businesses are sponsored by marketing and are flourishing because we love to shop so much. And yet, it seems the more we have, the more we want, and the less we appreciate it.

I can't change our culture and the multi-billion dollar marketing industry, but I can change our home. And so, we strive to minimize. We don't buy a lot. We don't buy things that are trendy, or that we believe are hazardous to the environment or people. We give away things that we haven't used for a while, because chances are we won't, and someone else may.

We bought very few of the must-have new baby items, and found that we didn't need the rest. Our daughter has few toys, and many of the ones she has are rotated (not the favorites), so that she doesn't have access to all of them and there is novelty when she re-discovers them every so often. (There's a wonderful book on this topic - Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne.)

If we place our attention on one or a few things, we will know them. If our attention is spread over many, how well can we know or in turn appreciate each one? And so, by limiting the number of things in our home, I hope the things we do have gain more meaning and value, to us and our kids.

2. Integration

Most of us live so much immersed in our lives and sheltered from the rest of the world or even many parts of our world, that it is easy to forget about its existence (even while reading/watching the news).

For example: many people buy a gadget but are psychologically very removed from the factory it is made in, or the factory workers who labor to make them, or the immense pollution output just from the production of this one gadget, or what happens once it is disposed of. I don't think it's because people aren't empathetic or don't care about those effects, but are rather removed, disconnected, disintegrated.

And so, we try to re-integrate as much as possible. We think about where something comes from, and where it's going after we are done with it. My husband actually drives much of these efforts (particularly the waste management):

-- We compost food scraps so they don't end up in plastic bags in overflowing landfills producing greenhouse gasses. For those of us who don't have outdoor space for a composter, this is becoming increasingly user-friendly in our part of the world - Brooklyn, as many farmer's markets provide drop-offs.

-- We buy things used as much as we can so that we don't contribute to the side-effects of mass production (mainly pollution) and so that things that can be re-used don't end up being disposed of. Likewise we try to sell or give away anything we don't need, rather than throwing it out. We reuse a lot of things that are typically thrown out because they can be  cheaply replaced if need be. We try not to use disposable items.

-- We think about where our food comes from and try to buy produce that is manufactured by processes we believe are least harmful to the world. This usually means organic and local. Likewise with animal products. In turn, I believe these foods are healthier for us.

And we're certainly not perfect in our efforts, because despite our beliefs we still use disposable diapers. I tried cloth, and so much wanted to like them, but they didn't work for me. We'll try again with the next one! So, certainly no judgments of anyone who doesn't do the above! The things we do evolved over years of little moments of awareness, sometimes with a little nudge from the other person, sometimes a little kick. So we're still learning and figuring it out. But I have noticed that the more we do these things, the more sensitivity we develop, and from that emerges a higher respect for everything.

There are other things that we do, but they're not as important as the underlying message: that it's important for us to be aware of and integrate all aspects of a "thing", which is more easily accomplished when there are less to spread our attention on. And doing so, leads us to treat things with more thought, consideration, and in turn respect.

And of course, learning to respect all people and living beings is a pretty involved subject, and worthy of its own post :)